How to Plan a Money Date: Build Wealth and a Stronger Relationship

As a PA-C and money expert,, I’ve worked with thousands of medical professionals who are trying to juggle busy lives, growing careers, and massive student loans. But there’s one thing my husband and I started doing years ago that changed everything in our relationship and our finances:

We started having quarterly money dates.

It’s not just about budgets. It’s about alignment, goal setting, and long-term wealth building…. together.

What Is a Money Date (And Why Every Couple Needs One)?

A money date is a structured yet relaxed time to check in with your partner about money without distractions or stress. It’s a chance to:

• Celebrate financial wins
  
• Review spending & progress
  
• Set clear, intentional goals
  
• Avoid miscommunication about money
  
• Stay on the same page (and build real wealth)
  

And when done right? It turns “you and me” into a financially unstoppable we.

How Often Should You Do It?

Quarterly is ideal. Once every 90 days keeps things on track without being overwhelming. Plan a longer session once a year to map out big-picture goals.

Location matters: Do it away from home. A quiet café, a picnic, or a wine bar works great. Just keep distractions (kids, chores, TVs) out of it.

Step-by-Step Agenda for Your Money Date

1. Start by Celebrating a Win

Even if things feel messy financially, start with something to celebrate. Maybe you…

• Paid off a credit card
  
• Renegotiated your internet bill
  
• Upped your 401(k) contribution
  

2. Check Where You Are Right Now

Look at your past 30–90 days:

• What percent of your income went to financial progress? (Investments, savings, extra debt payments)
  
• What are your top spending areas?
  
• What is your investing rate? This is calculated by total dollars invested for the year divided by annual income.
  
• What do your cash reserves look like?
• What’s the biggest financial risk you face right now? Are both jobs secure? Would a single unexpected surgery or car accident derail you? 
• What portion of your income comes from each source? What sources are fully active - vs semi passive or passive?
• What’s your current asset allocation?
  

Hint: Travel or eating out doesn’t have to change but it should be intentional.

3. Compare Reality to Your Goals

If you’ve set financial goals before, revisit them. Ask:

• Are we 25% toward our goal now that we’re 25% into the year?
  
• What needs to shift for us to catch up?
  
• If we don’t have a plan on paper… what should it look like?
  

4. Set Financial Goals in the Right Order

Most couples get this wrong.

Here’s the order that works (especially for medical professionals with high student loan debt):

1. High-Interest Debt: Credit cards, personal loans over 10% APR. Tackle these first.
2. Critical Cash Reserves: If you don’t have enough cash on hand to cover your insurance deductibles, you’re in the financial danger zone. The goal should be a minimum of 3 months expenses in cash, but a full emergency fund should be built while you’re investing.
3. Investing: This one gets skipped too often. Your investing rate should be 20%+ of gross income.
4. Student Loan Strategy: Especially if you’re figuring out the latest mess with the income driven plans and PSLF… you can’t afford not to address this one.
5. Short-Term Savings Goals: Vacations, car replacement, etc.

If you skip investing and only focus on short-term savings… you risk never retiring.

Check Your Net Worth Statement

Update your net worth every quarter during these dates. Ask:

• Are we growing our net worth?
  
• Are liabilities going down or assets going up?
  
• If we’re not making progress—why?
  

Answer: Usually, it’s because you’re putting too little toward financial progress.

The Final Step: Fun, Future-Forward Goal Setting

Now that you’ve handled the financial “logistics,” go bigger.

Ask each other:

• What do we want our life to look like in 30–40 years?
  
• Do we want to retire early?
  
• Travel full-time?
  
• Live off real estate cash flow?
  
• Leave a legacy for our kids?
  

These aren’t just dreams. They’re the foundation of your investing, saving, and lifestyle strategy.

And they can’t be uncovered unless you talk about them.

Why Money Dates Work (When You Do Them Right)

If you commit to a money date every 90 days—done with love, patience, and teamwork—it’s nearly impossible not to build wealth over time.

The biggest mistake couples make?

Putting investing and wealth building last, while prioritizing short-term wins.

Reorder your goals, stay consistent, and map your shared vision.

That’s how my husband and I became millionaires by our early 30s without fancy jobs or windfalls.

Bonus: Want Help Building Your Money Plan as a Medical Professional?

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